Chapter 8: How T0 Elicit Someone’s Strategy
” ‘Begin at the beginning,’ the king said gravely, ‘and go till you come to the end; then stop.’ ” ~Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
This next chapter is all about using certain strategies to read and communicate with other people! Now you might say to yourself, “Well, how the heck is knowing how to communicate with other people going to help me?!” And I’m telling you it has everything to do with helping yourself. One thing you need to remember is that people are your greatest resource. Therefore, you need others to help you reach a certain goal.
Tony Robbins goes on to explain that there are strategies for everything! If you want to become a master at buying or selling products, there’s a strategy for that! There are also strategies for more “simple” things such as being motivated, being in love, attracting people and being creative! Most of these things involve other people.
In order to use these strategies to communicate with others, you have to know how they learn. Remember in the last chapter review I said there are 3 main learning types. That is, visual, auditory and kinesthetic. Knowing which one of the 3 ways someone else learns is the first step to communicating more effectively to them.
Additionally, you can use these 3 learning styles in a conversation to figure out which way someone responds to questions you may ask them. In turn, you can use their “processing style” to effectively communicate information back to them. Here are a couple of cues or actions you can use to distinguish which way someone might process information:
- Visual processing: looking up and left, breathing high in the chest, speaks fast, and high-pitched, nasal or strained tonalities
- Auditory processing: looks toward left ear, breathing even through the whole chest, voice has an even rhythm and is clear with a resonant tonality
- Kinesthetic processing: looking down and right, deep breathing low in the stomach, and speaks slowly with a low, deep tonality
The reason why these cues and learning styles are so important to know when communicating to other people is because it can help you communicate the right information faster and in a way that gives you the upper hand. What does that even mean?
Well, let’s say your goal is to become a better car salesman. If you’re selling someone a car and you can figure out by having one conversation with them, which way they process information, which type of learning appeals to them the most, then you’re more likely to sell them a car! If their learning style is mostly visual you’ve got to know how to appeal to their visual sense in order to sell them a car. Therefore, you might talk about the color of the car’s exterior and interior more than the feel of the leather steering wheel or seats. You have to know what most drives them to buy a car. Make sense?
You can use these same strategies and cues when communicating to yourself and others in many aspects of your everyday life. The key to using them effectively is knowing what to look for and being aware of how you learn and how others learn. You can even use these strategies to get a better hold on your love life!